Nice folks from around the globe keep either:
A) sending me a couple bucks (no pun intended--and many thanks to everyone thus far)
B) buying my artwork (bless all of you)
or,
C) tell me I'm an enormous idiot and then ask for proof that I'm really going to grad school and proof that I really am not eligible for loans, even though they have no intention of ever sending me a dollar.
So, to all of you C) folks, please check back tonight when I post my official financial aid (or lack of it) package from Columbia.
Also, I keep going to my P.O. Box, hoping that some nice little letter has wended its way to me, but alas, no such luck! I mean, folks, it's just a dollar! And my P.O. Box is so lonely! Plus, even if you don't want to send me money, you can just send me a love letter. I LOVE love letters. In fact, I recently bought a collection of love letters from an estate sale for $5. It was the best $5 I've ever spent. Why? Well, quotes like this really:
"Babe, I love you so much. I want to hold you close to me through the night. Going to AA is so hard without you. I miss you Babe. Yours always, L."
The letters were addressed to someone in the Monroe County Jail in Rochester, NY. So, it seemed "Babe" was in jail. I assumed L. was Babe's pathetic, alcoholic girlfriend with girly handwriting. But then I got to this letter:
"Babe, I want to make love to you all night. In therapy, Dr. Johnson says that sex replaces addiction and he worries that I'm addicted to you. But I'm a man in love Babe. I need you! Well, I'm closing now. Your letter on Friday made me really happy. Love you Babe. Love always, Lance"
Hmmm....it seems Lance and Babe were gay lovers. But it didn't end there. No, a few more letters in there were letters from Babe's wife worried about what to tell their son, who didn't know where his father had gone. And then there were letters from the son about being diagnosed with ADD. And finally, there were letters from Babe's mother, demanding him to repent before the Lord or face eternal damnation.
Now why can't I get letters like that in my P.O. Box?
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2 comments:
It does make you wonder what their ultimate fate was, to have their love letters end up in an estate sale. I mean, I wouldn't want random strangers reading my love letters; I'd be more likely to conceal or burn them.
That said, you're right about it being the best $5 purchase EVAR.
Jules,
I will send an envelope to you to make your P.O. Box happy. I love using PayPal--their service is great, but for this kind of "donation" I would rather you kept the 33% than them.
Hope all goes well.
Your "older" cousin (because I was born in April),
Tom
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